i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize