We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
