You smell like stripper and shame
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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