A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
