youre lurking in front of me
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize