How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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