DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize