Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
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