Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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