soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
