Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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