oh god the rape fog is back!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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