im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he was CRYING into my vagina
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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