I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
