Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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