If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
