I got chris browned last night
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
