So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Drunk is not a location!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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