Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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