I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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