I want to make a zoo with you.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
