i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
