The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
