I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
