so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
