I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i out mim tonsoeep
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