does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
it was like eating out sand paper
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
