I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
this just has baby written all over it
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize
