I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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