I could have mohawked her pubes.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This beer is not sobering me up at all
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
