Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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