If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
