So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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