i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
