Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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