i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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