Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
