Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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