A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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