your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
