I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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