drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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