Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
