rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
