I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
