my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
