A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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