i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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