So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
