she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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