you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
