and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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