We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
