So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
