Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
