Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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