new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
