I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
