I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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