you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
