It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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