Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
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